《匆匆》三个英译本的对比分析

Liu Xiaoqing

Supervisor

Zhang  Yong

A Thesis Submitted in
Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of
B. A. in English

COLLEGE OF INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

SOUTHWEST UNIVERSITY

April, 2015

Acknowledgements

I would like to express my gratitude to all those who helped me during the writing of this thesis.

My sincere gratitude should first and foremost go to my supervisor-Zhang Yong, who has generously given me detailed instructions. Her valuable suggestions and painstaking corrections are crucial to the completion of this thesis. Without her patient instruction, insightful criticism and expert guidance, the completion of thesis would not have been possible.

I also owe a special debt of gratitude to all the professors in Foreign Languages Institute, from whose devoted teaching and enlightening lectures I have benefited a lot.

Finally, a deep sense of gratitude should go to my beloved family for their loving considerations and great confidence in me all through these years. I also owe my sincere gratitude to my friends and my fellow classmates who gave me their help and time in listening to me and helping me work out my problems during the difficult course of the thesis.

Abstract

English is known as a universal language and gains popularity. In order to improve the status of China, everyone has the obligation to spread our splendid culture all over the world. As English is the most popular language, so it’s a shortcut to spreading Chinese culture by translating them into English.

Congcong features Zhu Ziqing’s individual style: plain language coupled with sincere emotion, which should be a decisive factor in the acceptance of its translation. Based on the comparative analysis of Zhang Peiji，Zhang Mengjing and Zhu Chunshen’s target texts of Zhu Ziqing’s famous prose Congcong, this thesis attempts to analyze from the following three aspects: semantic coherence and accuracy of the wording; grammar, sentence pattern and syntax; the style and emotion. From the comparative analysis of the three English versions, we can see that during the process of translation, in order to accurately convey the writer’s thoughts, the translators have adopted different translation theories and translation skills.

Key words: culture; translation; emotion; skills

摘要

英语被誉为是一门世界语言，学习英语的人越来越多。为了提升中国的国际地位，每个人都有义务向全世界传播我们辉煌灿烂的中华文化。因为英语是使用最普遍的语言，因此把我们的文化翻译成英语是传播中华文化的一条捷径。

《匆匆》一文体现了朱自清的个人风格：平实的语言却饱含着真挚的情感，这应该成为翻译时考虑的重要因素。结合《匆匆》张培基，张梦井和朱纯深的英文译本基础上，本篇论文尝试从以下三个方面进行分析：语义连贯和用词准确，语法和句型句法，风格和情感等等。从对比分析我们可以看出，在翻译过程中，为了准确地传达作者的思想意图，译者们采取了不同的翻译理论和技巧。

关键词：文化；翻译；情感；技巧

 

1.    Introduction

Life without literature is dull. With the world economic developing, China has a close connection with the western countries. As a carrier of Chinese culture, more and more Chinese literature is translated into English, such as Congcong. Congcong is a beautiful prose which tells us to cherish time and youth and make everyday count. Besides, Congcong, which brings the fun and inspiration to us, is popular in China and around the world. To translate our literary works into English is an activity to make communication with western culture.

However, there are many difficulties in translating a prose, such as culture differences, the style of prose, and the qualifications for a translator. For a long time, faithfulness, expressiveness and elegance are the most influential and popular standard of translation.

So far, there are several English versions about the prose Congcong. By comparison, we’ll determine which one is better and more appropriate to be recommended to spread the Chinese culture. Besides, in this process, we’ll try to capture each translator’s feature and unique charm. We should absorb each one’s merits and avoid his demerits, what’s more, we’ll learn some problems we should pay attention to when we translate something and enrich our translating experience.

This thesis is divided into four parts: part 1 is the introduction; part 2 is a brief introduction to the writer and three translators, the main idea, the content and the features of the prose Congcong; part 3 is the main part of this thesis, the author will compare three translations from the following three aspects: semantic coherence and accuracy of the wording; grammar, sentence structure and syntax; style and emotion and so on; part 4 is the conclusion of the whole thesis.

2.    Appreciation and analysis of the prose Congcong

2.1.    A brief introduction to the writer Zhu Ziqing

Zhu Ziqing was born in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province in November 1898. At that time, his name was Zhu Zihua. In 1916, Zhu entered Peking University where he fell in love and married Wu Zhongqian. In 1925, he was appointed as professor of Chinese Literature at Tsinghua University. From 1931 to 1932, he studied English Literature and Linguistics in London. Later, he married his second wife Chen Zhuyin and continued to teach at Tsinghua University. After the Second World War, Zhu encouraged his students in Kunming to oppose Chiang Kai-Shek from starting the Chinese Civil War. In 1948, Zhu passed away due to starvation after joining the rebellion of refusing aid from the United States.

Zhu was not only a famous fighter for democracy but also a professor and a learned scholar. Also, Zhu was a renowned Chinese poet and prosiest. During the May Fourth Movement, Zhu became one of several pioneers of modernism in China during the 1920s. Zhu was a prolific writer of both prose and poetry, but is best known for prose like Congcong.

2.2.    A brief introduction to the three translators

Zhang Peiji is an authoritative expert in Chinese translation circle. He has many famous translation works and has taught many famous students all over the world. His translation works keep the full flavor of the original work and the words he uses to express are very exact to the original meanings. On the other hand, the way he translates is quite simple but practical.

Zhang Mengjing is an English professor and a graduate student tutor. He studies thoroughly in many aspects, such as linguistics, translation, interpersonal communication, and social and cultural study and so on.

Zhu Chunshen is a doctor in Nottingham University. He once taught in some universities. Now he is a professor in Chinese, translation and linguistics in Hong Kong City University. For a long time he has taught and studied in translation field and has supervised doctoral students and master students who major in translation.

2.3.    The theme of the prose

Zhu Ziqing wrote Congcong on March 28^th, 1922, when the May Fourth Movement had just ended not a long time ago. The reality continuously let down the writer. Although the writer felt confused and disappointed from time to time, he wasn’t willing to sink down. He still pursued his ideal.

This prose is written in a melancholy tone which predicts the uneven feeling of the writer. And this uneven mood reflects the feeling which the young men felt at the end of the May Fourth Movement.

The theme of this prose is that time has wings. In the beginning, the writer tells the readers that one of time’s features is that once time disappears, it cannot come back. Then the writer talks about those eight thousand days that come and go so quickly that the writer even doesn’t know where they have gone. The writer has many thoughts and sighs so many times. At last, he exclaims from the bottom of the heart.

2.4.    The features of the prose

This prose is written with the scenery depicted and the emotions expressed in perfect harmony. Whether the writer depicts “the swallow, the willow, the peach” or “the sun”, he always expresses his feelings that once time flies, it cannot come back. At the same time, the writer feels very disappointed and sorry.

The structure of the prose is very compact and clear. Its transition is very natural, the end of his prose echoes the beginning, and the organization is well-knit. The wording is beautiful, simple but concise.

This prose features Zhu’s individual style: plain language coupled with sincere emotion, which should be a decisive factor in the acceptance of its translation. As for translation, a translator must express the beauty of the rhythm and content of the original works; also, he should convey the style and emotion of the original works. In a word, he should integrate the content, pattern and style together. Faithfulness, expressiveness and elegance are some important standards in judging whether a translation work is good or bad. So, when a translator is translating some works, firstly, he should understand the background of writing and connotation of the original text, capture the main idea of the original text, consider such factors as the writer, works, reader, social and culture. Only by doing this, can he produce a good translation work.

3.    Analyzing the three translations in different aspects

According to Eugene Nida, translating consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalent of the source language message, firstly in terms of meaning and secondly in terms of style, a qualified translator should not only transmit the meaning but also extract to the utmost the poetic values of the original works. Personally, I very like Zhang Peiji’s translation when reading for the first time; I think he translates very marvelously. When we read his translation, we can feel many thoughts and emotions of the original writer, so we can find a great appeal in it. Also, we can feel the beauty and artistic conception of the original work. But when we read many times and think carefully, we can find that three translations all have their own advantages and disadvantages. It’s hard to say which is good or not good. We can only judge who translates more accurately, more conforms to the beauty, meaning or taste of the original works. The following is my analysis and appreciation about the three translation works.

V1: Zhang Peiji  V2: Zhang Mengjing  V3: Zhu Chunshen

3.1.    Semantic coherence and accuracy of the wording

Faithfulness is an important standard in judging whether a translation work is good or bad. Faithfulness in prose translation refers to that in a translation the wording is exactly and appropriately chosen and the translation achieves semantic coherence. For translation, only when the wording is appropriate and proper, can the discourse become an inseparable cohesive whole instead of translating word by word. The following is my analysis about the wording of three translated versions.

Example 1: The Title“匆匆”

V1: The Transient Days

V2: Days gone by

V3: Rush

In translating the title “匆匆”, three translators use different words. Let’s look at them one by one. “Transient” means: lasting a very short time. Firstly, the meaning of “transient” is in line with the theme of the prose Congcong—the days pass quickly without being conscious of them. In this prose, the writer feels very helpless about the fly of time. Secondly, the word “transient” can better express the mood of helplessness for the short-time thing. For example: What a transient life! (多少短暂的生命啊！) By using the word “transient”, we feel that time is a thing of the past, we cannot catch it or touch it. Also, “transient” has a sense of beauty. “Go by” means: to pass by.  “Go by” reflects the past of the time and the regret of the lost good days. It doesn’t reflect the writer who wants to show that time is short and flies quickly. As for “rush”, rush means: the act of moving hurriedly and in a careless manner. Rush gives us a feeling that we are in a situation in which we are in a hurry and need to do things quickly. I think that although time is short, but we needn’t to go so far as to come in a hurry. Meanwhile, “rush” is a little derogatory and lacks a sense of beauty and not conforms to the meaning of the text.

Example 2: 我不知道它们给了我多少日子，但我的手却乎是渐渐空虚了

V1: I don’t know how many days I am entitled to altogether, but my quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away.

V2: I don’t know how many days I have been given, but the days in my hands are becoming numbered.

V3: I don’t know how many days I have been given to spend, but I do feel my hands are getting empty.

In translating the word “给”, Zhang Peiji uses the word “entitle” while the other two people use the word “give”. “Give” means: transfer possession of something concrete or abstract to somebody. While “entitle” means: give the right to; “Entitle” implies that time is precious and only when we cherish time that we can have time to use. So, “entitle” is more appropriate. In translating the last half sentence, each one translates differently. “My quota of them is undoubtedly wearing away.” is concrete. “Wear away” means: make something become, gradually thinner or smoother by continuously using. “Numbered” means “don’t have many days or have limit time”.  “Quota” means: a proportional share assigned to each participant. Here, it demonstrates that time is limit. In my opinion, “wear away” conveys a procedure which is in accordance with the word “渐渐” in the original prose. Also, it’s not appropriate to use the word “numbered” here. Because the writer is in his youth, he has many days and chances in front of him. What’s more, if we use the word “numbered”, this prose will lose its taste. “But I do feel my hands are getting empty.” is similar in the pattern with the original sentence, but it’s a little abstract. “Empty” means: have nothing inside. The use of “empty” seems to be faithful to the original work, but in fact, it lacks connotative meaning and easily produces ambiguity. By comparison, I think that Zhang Peiji’s translation is in accordance with the artistic conception of the original.

Example 3: 聪明的，你告诉我，我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢？

V1: But, tell me, you the wise, why should our days go by never to return?

V2: But please tell me, genius, why then have my days gone and never returned?

V3: You, the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return.

In translating the word “去”, Mr. Zhu uses “leave” to show the pity and regret that time has gone and cannot come back. He uses personification to depict that we seems not to cherish time, so time leaves us. Zhang Peiji uses “go by” to demonstrate that time has gone objectively. Zhang Mengjing uses “gone” to show that time was lost in the past. By comparison, I think that using “leave” is better. It can better show our pity about time lost. In translating the word “聪明的”, Zhang Peiji and Zhu Chunshen use the word “ the wise’, while Zhang Mengjing use the word “genius”.  “Wise” means: able to make sensible decision and give good advice because of the experience and knowledge that you have. “Genius” usually refers to great intelligence, skill or artistic ability. “Wise” as an adjective, its meaning is in accordance with the content of the prose. Also, the word “wise” is usually used in literature works and has rhythm. The meaning of “genius” has a little difference with the content of this prose. Also, “genius” is usually a spoken word.

Example 4: 我的日子流在时间的流里，没有声音也没有影子

V1:……my days are quietly dripping into the stream of time without leaving a trace.

V2:……my days have been dripping into the river of time, quietly and invisibly.

V3:……my days are dripping into the stream of time, soundless, traceless.

In translating the noun “流” (时间的流里), Zhang Peiji and Zhu Chunshen choose the word “stream”, while Zhang Mengjing chooses the word “river”. “Stream” refers to a small narrow river, a continuous flow of liquid or gas. “River” refers to a natural flow of water that continuous in a long line across land to the sea/ocean. Whether from the perspective of the literal translation or free translation, the word “stream” is in accordance with the context. “Stream” is often used in literal works. It’s figurative. “River” is a formal word without figurativeness. It makes the translated work lack of a sense of beauty. Also, it refers to the time stream of the big event.

Example 5: 在逝去如飞的日子里，在千门万户的世界里我能做些什么呢？

V1: Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions, what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life?

V2: In these swiftly escaping days, what can I do in this world amongst thousands of households?

V3: What can I do, in this bustling world, with my days flying in their escape?

While translating the sentence “千门万户的世界里”, different translators use different ways of expression. “Teeming”means: present in large numbers; full of people. “Teeming millions” belongs to the free translation and is in accordance with the “one thousand million” in the original prose. And the exaggeration of “teeming millions” is similar to the original. Although they are different languages, but the meaning of them are similar. “Thousands of households” belongs to literal translation and seems faithful to the original, but it is only similar in the language form rather than the ideological content. “Thousands of households’ is decontextualized, and easily leads to the misunderstanding. So, the translation fails to reach the same meaning of the original. “Bustling” means: full of energetic and noisy activity. “Bustling” gives us a feeling that people are very busy, lively or noisy. I think it doesn’t conform to the writer’s original meaning.

In conclusion, there are many polysemy in a language. The meanings of many words are not fixed. They may have different meanings in different context. Also, the words which are combined in different ways may produce different meanings. Only to put a word in a signifier chain such as in a sentence, or in a particular context, its meaning can be determined. From the perspective of translation, we cannot translate some works with semantic coherence if being apart from the context. So in translation practice, we must choose appropriate words according to the particular context. We must keep in mind that we shouldn’t isolate the word from the context and blindly seek the literal “equivalence”.

3.2.    Grammar, sentence pattern and syntax

As we know, grammar is different in Chinese and English language. The English language puts emphasis on grammar and takes grammar seriously. So the grammar is complete and strict in English. Nevertheless, in Chinese language, the grammar isn’t obvious and we put more emphasis on meaning. The theory of “loose appearance and not lose spirit” or “shape dispersing but spirit concentrating” becomes a great bright point to the theory constriction of Chinese prose in the modern times and the present age. Besides, the sentence pattern is an important part in the beauty and charm of the prose. So in our translation, we should pay attention to the grammar, sentence structure and syntax.

Example 1: 燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，有再开的时候。

V1. If swallows go away, they will come back again. If willows wither, they will turn green again. If peach blossoms fade, they will flower again.

V2. When the swallows have gone, there is still time to return; when the poplar and willow trees have become withered, there is still time to see green; when the peach flowers have already faded, there is still time to blossom.

V3: Swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again.

In the three translations, the use of parallelism sentence and the similar sentence structure make the sentence sound well and beautiful. Meanwhile, the translations are natural and fluent with an overwhelming presence. Also, they are filled with a sense of melodic rhythms.

Firstly, Zhang Peiji uses “If-clause”, while reading we’ll feel that as if a thousand thoughts come to our mind. “If” means: depending on another thing happening or being real. By using “if”, we feel the article is very logical. More importantly, by using “if”, the translation is similar to the original work in pattern and meaning. Also, using “if” reminds us of Shelley’ famous poet: “If winter comes, can spring be far away?” We can also feel that the nature is changeable all the time and everything can wax and wane. Secondly, the translator uses simple present tense to show the unchanging reality (Time flies is uncontrollable and we can do nothing about it. The translator also indicates that we should value time.) The translator also uses three independent sentences. I feel that the structure is not compact, layering is not particularly effective. Zhang Mengjing and Zhu Chunshen use present perfect, I think it is not appropriate to use such tense in the context. Zhang Mengjing uses three when-clauses to link three representative but similar scenes together. It’s logical, too. In my opinion, the use of “still” is also marvelous. It emphasizes that some things can wax and wane, but time cannot come back. Three clauses convey the same meaning: some things like swallows have gone will come back again. They are in contrast to the next part of the prose. It’s clearer to us that once time has gone then it cannot come back. Mr. zhu’s translation seems a little dull, lacks a sense of taste and cannot make the reader think much. But I think the using of “but” is marvelous. We use “but” to introduce something that contrasts with what we have just said, or to introduce something that adds to what we have just said. Here, it estimates that “swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return;”, but time has gone and cannot come back.

Example 2: 于是，洗手的时候，日子从水盆里过去；吃饭的时候，日子从饭碗里过去；默默时，便从凝然的双眼前过去。

V1. Thus the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands; vanishes in the rice bowl when I have meal; passes away quietly before the fixed gaze of my eyes when I am lost in reverie.

V2. When I wash my hands, my days wash off into my basin; when I am eating, the days vanish from my bowl; and when I am sitting silently, my days pass by my gazing eyes.

V3: Thus—the day flows away through the sink when I wash my hands, wears off in the bowl when I eat my meal, and passes away before my day-dreaming gaze as reflect in silence.

Zhang Peiji and Zhu Chunshen use post-positioned adverbial modifier and the subject only appears one time, which accord with English habits. The whole sentence is simple but connected closely, and has strong hierarchical effect. Zhang Mengjing uses preposition of adverbial and the subject appears three times, which accord with Chinese habits. It rigidly copies the Chinese parallel structure and is a little verbose.

The use of Parallelism sentence demonstrates that time flies fast. Have a meal, wash hands or sit silently are some very details in daily life, but the author sharply sees that time has gone.

Example 3: 是有人偷了它们罢，那是谁？又藏在何处呢？是他们自己逃走了：现在又到了哪里呢？

V1. Perhaps they have been stolen by someone. But who could it be and who could hide them? Perhaps they have just run away by themselves. But where could they be at present moment?

V2. If some people have stolen them, then who are they? And where are they hidden? If they have escaped by themselves, then where are they now?

V3: If they had been stolen by someone, who could it be? Where could he hide them? If they had made the escape themselves, then where could they stay at the moment?

About this part, in my opinion, I think Zhang Peiji translates better. Zhang Peiji and Zhu Chunshen use passive voice. The subject of the original work is time, not people. So, it’s appropriate to use passive voice. Also, Zhang Peiji uses “perhaps” to show his supposition. The word “perhaps” has a feeling of mystery and art. However, “if” is a little subjective and doesn’t have much emotion color. Zhang Peiji and Zhu Chunshen use the subjunctive mood to show the doubt and distrust of the writer. It shows that time is single-dimensional and cannot come back. Zhang Mengjing uses sentences of real condition. Although it indicates hypothesis, it is not in accordance with the original context.

Example 4: 但不能平的，为什么偏要白白走这一遭呢？

V1. Why should I be made to pass through this world for nothing?

V2. But, this is unfair to me…why did I come to this world for nothing?

V3. It is not fair though: why should I have made such a trip for nothing!

Zhang Peiji uses passive voice, in line with the view of God’s creation, accord with the notion of the Westerners and can be easily understood by the readers. Zhang Mengjing and Zhu Chunshen use active voice, which is similar to Chinese habit, and doesn’t accord with the Westerners’ notion. Because of the difference of habit of expression, people usually use passive voice to express something in English, while people usually use active voice to express something in Chinese. So when we translate something, it’s necessary to change the voice. From the aspect of grammar, it’s better to use passive voice without knowing the subject.

Example 5: 过去的日子如轻烟却被微风吹了，如薄雾，被初阳蒸融了。

V1. The bygone days, like wisps of smoke, have been dispersed by gentle winds, and, like thin mist, have been evaporated by the rising sun.

V2. The past days like light smoke are blown away with the breeze or like a thin layer of mist evaporate with the morning sun.

V3: Those bygone days have been dispersed as smoke by a light wind, or evaporated as mist by the morning sun.

The original sentence has one subject, two objects, and two subordinate clauses. Its predicate is in passive voice. In Zhang Peiji’s translation, the sentence ingredients are the same with the Chinese sentence. The two parallel clauses have the same sentence pattern. In Zhang Mengjing’s translation, the two parallel clauses are different in sentence pattern. The last clause uses active voice, and changes the object into adverbial. In Zhun Chunshen’s translation, the word order is a little different from the original works. Although the two parallel clauses have the same sentence pattern, I think his translation is not as good as Zhang Peiji’s.

3.3.    The style and emotion

• The translators’ expression for the original style and emotion

Once Hilaire Belloc, a famous English essayist and translator, thinks that “the essence of translating is the resurrection of an alien thing in a native body”. To reproduce writer’s style completely is the aim of nearly every translator. Although it is impossible, we can try our best to make our translations similar to the original works as possible as we can. So, the original style and feeling cannot be ignored. The translator should capture the thoughts, feelings, styles and charm of the original work, and then use their ingenuity to depict them in another language. Then I’ll use detailed examples to analyze the three translations.

Example 1: 在默默里算着，八千多日子已经从我手中溜去

V1: Counting up silently, I find that more than 8000 days have already slipped away through my fingers.

V2: Counting silently, eight thousand days have slipped.

V3: Taking stock silently, I find more than eight thousand days has already slid away from me.

In translating the word “算着”, Zhu Chunshen uses “take stock” while Zhang Peiji uses “count up’. “Take stock” usually refers to estimate the quantity of something. “Count up” refers to calculate the total number of time. So, “count up” is more appropriate. Then let’s look at how they translate the word “溜去”. Zhang Mengjing uses the word “slip” while the other two people use the phrase “slip away”. “Slip” means: move obliquely or sideways, usually in an uncontrolled manner. “Slip away” means: (time) pass by; so, ‘slip away” is better. Zhang Peiji directly uses the number 8000 to show that how many days have gone. It’s so striking that people notice the number at the first glance. It causes one to think deeply about time.

Example 2: 我不禁头涔涔而泪潸潸了

V1: At the thought of this, sweat oozes from my forehead and tears trickle down my cheeks.

V2: I can’t help dripping with sweat and weeping many tears

V3: Already sweat is starting on my forehead, and tears welling up in my eyes.

In the original work, this sentence has a very strong sense of pictures that the author weeps and sighs with emotion. Then let’s look at how the translators translate the sentence “头涔涔而泪潸潸”.

In Zhang Peiji’s translation: “ooze” means: “pass gradually or leak through or as if through small openings” or “release (a liquid) in drops or small quantities”. The picture is very beautiful and the writer’s feelings are natural and sincere. “Trickle” means “run or flow slowly, as in drops or in an unsteady stream”. The use of “ooze” and “trickle” vividly expresses that the author perspires and cries because of nervousness, worry and shame. So Zhang Peiji’s translation is better.

In Zhang Mengjing’s translation: “drip” means “fall in drops”; “weep” means “shed tears because of sadness, rage, or pain”. The use of “dripping” and “weeping” expresses that the author is drenched with sweat and cries more and harder.

In Zhu’s translation, we see that the author feels the sweat break out on his forehead and cries his eyes out. So, Zhu’s translation conforms to the original meaning to a certain extent.

Example 3: 我察觉它去的匆匆了，伸出手遮挽时，它又从遮挽的手边过去

V1: Aware of its fleeting presence. I reach out for it only to find it brushing past my feet.

V2: When I feel them go away so hurriedly, I reach out my hands only to hold them back before they are beyond my grasp.

V3: I can feel his haste now, so I reach out my hands to hold him back, but he keeps flowing past my withholding hands.

About the translation of “去的匆匆”, Zhang Peiji uses “fleeting” to describe it. “Fleeting” means: lasting for a markedly brief time. Zhang Mengjing uses “hurriedly” to demonstrate that time flies in a great rush. Zhu uses “haste” to show that time passes quickly. In my opinion, “fleeting” can vividly depict that time is temporary and elapses in a flash. One example is: during the time of our talking, time flies so naturally without our notice and cannot come back. It’s so subjective and we cannot control it. “Hurry” and “haste” give us a feeling that something is urgent, so they cannot describe that time flies quietly. Meanwhile, “hurry” and “haste” are lack of a sense of beauty. Therefore, “fleeting” can more accurately convey the author’ feeling of frustration and regret. The terms “hurry” and “haste” cannot achieve the same effect.

Example 4: 在八千多日的匆匆里，除徘徊外，还剩些什么呢？

V1: What have I been doing during the 8000 fleeting days except wavering and wandering?

V2: In these over eight thousand hurried days, what has been left to me besides hesitation?

V3: What have I been doing in that eight-thousand-day rush, apart from hesitating?

In translating the word “徘徊”, Zhang Peiji uses the word “waver” while the other two people use the word “hesitate”. “Hesitate” is synonymous with “waver”. They all mean: pause or hold back in uncertainty or unwillingness. But they have a little difference. “Hesitate” is a general term, and generally refers to someone hesitating to decide what to do, what to say and so on. Generally it refers to a piece of specific thing. “Waver” usually means that someone has already decided to do something, but he doesn’t act with hesitation. So “waver” means that someone is afraid to do something. “Waver” vividly depicts the feeling of hesitation .What’s more, “waver” can better convey the emotion of the author in this prose, at that time, the author feels confused about his future. It’s not the specific things to hesitate.

• The translators’ own styles

The very important aspect of literary translation is the integration of both translator’s and writer’s style. To reproduce writer’s style completely is the aim of nearly every translator, which is also unreachable. During the process of translation, every translator reveals his own style in some degree.

From what we have discussed above, we can find three translators choose words and phrases carefully and think twice. They all want to make the translations perfect. Because the qualities of each translator are different, the perspective of understanding this prose is different, too. So every translator’s work all has their own traces which also reflect their own styles. The three translators all overcome the obstacles of Chinese and English’s difference and capture the connotation of the prose. The words they choose vividly convey the romantic charm in literature and art of the original works. Zhu’s and Zhang Mengjing’s translations are smooth and all blend into one harmonious whole. They well convey the original feelings, the strong appeal and strong artistic effect of the original work; while Zhang Peiji’s translation has an advantage from the whole text, because he can accurately grasp the original style and put himself in the context of the original, so he uses another language to reproduce the beauty of the original accurately. A famous scholar, Zhu Manhua, once commented Zhang Peiji’s translation: “when you read this prose, you don’t even notice it is a translation. You wouldn’t even believe that this translation comes from a Chinese whose mother tongue is Chinese.” As for translators, they need to choose words accurately and precisely. And they need to maintain the original information and function, and convey the original style or taste perfectly.

From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the three translations all have their features and all worth reading and thinking. We should taste and enjoy them several times. By comparison, I still like Zhang Peiji’s translation, because he conveys the feelings and emotion the original author wants to convey. And his translation has the beauty and charm of the original work. Nevertheless there are many parts that worth appreciating in other two translations. Because of the difference of every person’s understanding and everyone’s translation style, different people may have different translations about the same work. But anyway, we should respect the original work and be faithful to it. We should capture the emotion and charm of the original work, choose the words carefully and exactly, conform to the artistic conception of the original work.

4.    Conclusion

All in all, when we translate something, firstly, the original style and feeling cannot be ignored. Secondly, when we translate literary works, we should pay attention to the literariness and creativity of wording to make our translation work full of distinctive literature. Thirdly, the translator must grasp the spirit of the original work and avoid translating the work word by word. Last but not the least, the translator should capture the thoughts, feelings, styles and charm of the original work, then use their ingenuity to depict them in another language.

Translation is not only a science with its own peculiar laws and methods but also an art of repre­sentation and recreation. Translation is an art, a bilingual art. Like painting, transla­tion enables us to reproduce the fine thought of somebody, not in colors, but in words, in words of a different language. As a student majoring in English, it’s not enough to read masters’ translation works. Only by thinking, accumulating, comparing, practicing more in daily life, can we better understand the original works and translate them better.

 

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